I’m trying for complete honesty about something unexpected that took place yesterday…
“I need you to come over here”
“K”
“No, on the floor here please”
“K” (so far nothing seems abnormal-I’m often placed on my knees before him)
“I read your blog, you know”
“I know, thanks”
“It gives me really great insight into how you, and we, are still changing”
“Thanks”
“You should write more often”
“Well, this year has been pretty crazy, and this summer is the busiest one yet”
“Yes, you have been really busy. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. I’m sure glad your mom wanted the kids for the night though, I could use some time to catch up on this house. Why?”
“I mean how do you feel about us right now? About our relationship? About our ‘dynamic’?”
“I guess I haven’t really had time to stop and think about it, like I said, this summer has been crazy.”
“Yes, it has. I have to apologize to you. I feel I’ve let my side of the D/s slide lately because of being busy and because you seem a little frazzled. We haven’t felt like ‘us’ lately”
“It’s OK honey, I’m sure it’s not your fault.”
“Well, I AM the leader here.”
***nods***
“I’ve been trying to think of a way to reestablish our roles around here. I’ve been lacking and I know you are happiest when you are dominated and feel submissive.”
***nods***
“Your blog had all the answers”
***quickly filing mentally through posts and figuring where he is going with this***
“Undress please”
So, my mind is racing. He is very very calm and speaking quite slowly. I stand up and face him and begin to remove my clothes. He caresses my forearm a few times as if reassuring me.
I’m maneuvered into an odd position. If you can picture this. There is an ottoman right in front of where he sits on the couch. Imagine sitting on his lap, straddling him, facing away then laying all the way down so one’s face and shoulders are on the ottoman. So, I have a knee on each side of him, my shins up against the backrest of the couch, my belly on his thighs and my shoulders supported on the ottoman. That’s as close as I’m getting to drawing a diagram.
Then, he starts rubbing my lower back and bottom and thighs as they are right in his lap. He begins telling me that he’s the boss here, even in the summer, even when the kids are always around, even when life is hectic and then SMACK.
“WHAAAAAAAT?”
“You wrote about establishing roles with a spanking and we need establishing right now” SMACK
“But….. but, but we don’t spank!”
“Why don’t we spank?” SMACK
“Wait. ummm, wait. We don’t spank because of my back injury. Because of the nerve pain I get.”
“Well, I don’t plan to get anywhere near that” SMACK.
He had been striking the outside of the back of my upper thighs. The nerve pain I get runs down the main nerve in the middle of the back of the leg(the sciatic nerve for those of you who appreciate the technical side of things) and can be somewhat disabling when it really flares up. He did his homework. He wasn’t going to harm me. Of course he wasn’t.
(Dialog after this point, gets a little sketchy, but I’ll do my best)
“You wrote that as a submissive, you can understand the need to be put in your place physically. You wrote that this is an obvious display of who is the boss. We both need this.” (smacks every other word, I think)
I may have panicked. I was asked to put my hands under my face and keep them there. I tried.
Here’s some of the stuff that went through my head…
I wanted to cover up. I’ve been in this position before with him in a sexual context and have not had the urge to cover myself even though I felt exposed. But yesterday, I had a powerful urge to cover myself. This was not a sexual situation and the position felt nearly humiliating. I’ve never wanted a pair of panties so bad in my life.
OW!
I’m ashamed to say that it crossed my mind that he would not go through with it. That he would be done any second. That he wasn’t serious. That I didn’t need a “who is who”. I actually doubted he had it in him.
When it became apparent that he wasn’t stopping anytime soon, I started talking and was hushed. I’m not sure what I said. He went on about working at being the leader I needed. I think I was sweating while he talked about over scheduling. I know I was begging, while he talked about respect.
I was shocked at what he was able to deliver. Since we don’t spank, I had never asked myself if he could follow through. My level of surprise tells me that I had underestimated my man.
The smacks slowed. They were replaced by light rubbing. The tenderness in his touch nearly broke my heart. I laid quiet on his lap. There were some soft murmurs from him now and then. After a while he said “come here”. I flipped around and roped my arms around his neck.
He ran his fingers up and down my back and through my hair. then he asked how I feel about us now. I said the only thing that came to mind.
“better”
“Me too.”
God's gift to Him 
What a wonderful lesson in taking charge, shaking things up and moving forward. I suspect an new spice will be added to your posting recipe. I’m looking forward to it! This is great post! Thanks.
What a wonderful lesson in taking charge, shaking things up and moving forward. I suspect an new spice will be added to your posting recipe. I’m looking forward to it! This is great post! Thanks BabyMan.
Babyman and Sugaranne, You are right about shaking things up, whew! As, for the new spice, we’ve yet to talk about adding it to the regular menu. 😉
Your post was so very honest and open. It was very interesting to read about this new (for you) experience in spanking. It sounds as if the two of you are off to a great start down a new avenue in your dynamic.
Thanks Elysia. He’s known for the curveballs, that’s for sure.
It DOES work! I have sciatica too with the 4 lower discs herniated and we manage just fine.
Really? and he can smack you where you sit? I get bad nerve pain just from sitting on a hard surface too long. I can’t imagine what getting spanked there would do to me. DOes it ever flare up your sciatica?
The position you are describing is called the Wheelbarrel, although in your case, modified wheelbarrel might be more accurate.
Yes why is that we are fine nude in front of them until we are having a ‘discussion’? Then the very last thing I want to be is nude.
Interesting post, interesting change of pace.
Thanks for the info. 🙂 I almost put that it was like the wheelbarrow hold, but didn’t know if that would translate right. I”m glad you could decifer my crazy description.
I strongly recomment any HOHs having trouble making sure she knows “who is who” take this route. It changes everything.
I rode the fence for awhile, because I wasn’t sure if my wife would be really VERY mad at me if I spanked her. Nothing else worked for us.
I did it anyway. She was only mad for about five minutes. Then she was sorry for underestimating how strong of a leader I could be.
One thing thoug, it’s been said before if you satrt this be sure you can finish it or you will have a newly energized super-brat on your hands for sure.
You should leave him. we have lurked on your blog for over a year and like you becaues you dont to this.
We thought you were above this and we loved that you handled things with intelect instead of violence.
We won’t be back.
I don’t mind people disagreeing with us. I don’t mind those same people leaving comments for everyone else to read. I love freedom of speech, yours and mine.
I do, however, have a few questions for you.
1. Violence? Did you miss the fact that he researched how to do this so as not to harm me? He studied up on how he could apply this to our relationship, in spite of my ‘special needs’ and be sure of no lasting discomfort. Which leads me to number 2…
2. The fact that he researched and studied brings intelect right back into the equation. This was a thought out intervention by a loving husband, not a mindless pounce of a bully. If you really have followed this blog, how could you see it as the latter?
Thank you for following us in the past,
gg
gg, I am SO PROUD of the way you handled yourself over the comment above.
I think most writers would have removed the post or blasted the dumb person who posted. You are one classy lady.
That is very kind of you, ‘oh my’. Thank you for your support.
What research did he do? I’m finding a lot of stuff on the net for submissive wives, but virtually nothing for dominant husbands. We had a traditional white wedding and we want a traditional marriage… but as a dominant man, I feel we are somewhat more strongly criticised, even condemned, by society… am I right lads?’