Just like any other ‘type’ of marriage, D/s marriages sometimes hit rough patches.  When these couples are brave/smart enough to get counseling, they often feel the  need to hide the D/s portion of their relationship.  A therapist and/or counselor who does not understand D/s and its positive benefits for the couple will often want to fix it.  If this couple is hiding how their relationship actually works at home, how is the counseling going to do any good?

   Similarly, anyone needing individual therapy is often very misunderstood if they identify as a Dominant or submissive.  I personally know a woman who shared about her marriage with her therapist and he set out to try to help her overcome her feelings of worthlessness and low self esteem.  This wonderful woman did not have either of these problems, she was merely submissive to her husband.  The therapist obviously saw this as a problem she needed to overcome.

  So, what to do if you live D/s and find you need help in this department.  There is help.  The national coalition for sexual freedom has a list of “Kink Aware Professionals” on their website .   The list is simply a resource to find a professional who understands that there is a wide range of “normal” within relationships.  You might not think your D/s marriage falls under the heading of  kinky, but these professionals can be a great resource should you need them.  They won’t try to fix your D/s, they will just help you fix your relationship.

  Just an F.Y.I. for all of our friends out there.

God bless you.