A submissive has got to start somewhere Tuesday, Mar 30 2010 

  I have received very many uplifting letters lately.  I can’t tell you how wonderful all of you can make me feel.  Even during my break from the blog several of you let me know that my husband and I have been a positive influence in your lives.  You are an awesome bunch of people.

  I want to share one letter with you.  At the risk of tooting my own horn, I’m sharing this letter because I think it will give some of you hope who are just starting out and even more hope to those of you deciding if you should even start.  So, here is the letter copied and pasted exactly as it is in the e-mail.  The kind woman who sent it would prefer that she not be named, but I thank her very much for sharing.


We have been married for eight years, and in that time I had managed to fight and argue with my husband until he had caved and given in to my whims…even when he knew I was wrong! The problem was that I had never found the nerve to tell him why I was really fighting him… It wasn t because I wanted to win- just the opposite – I wanted to lose! I wanted to fight with all I had, and I wanted to lose! We ve been doing this for years!
 I have always known I am deeply submissive. I am so submissive that it is almost impossible for me to ask for something I need, especially if I think he wont like what Im asking for. I would fight for days over things that didnt matter to me at all, but when it came to simply saying what I want from him, I couldnt do it! I wanted him to be in charge, and just know what I needed from him.  I was searching the web one day for the phrase “how to get my husband to dominate me” and I found your beautiful blog. I read all afternoon. I realised that our marriage was failing.  I took a leap of faith, and I decided that if you, and all the readers who had commented on your posts could find it in you to tell your husbands what you needed from them I could too! I found your husbands posts,answers from a dominant husband. While I read it I imagined what our life would be like if my husband could do those things that yours wrote about.  Before I could change my mind I had emailed him a link to your blog. I asked him to read his email… and thats when everything changed. He looked nervous when he started reading… but a smile was growing on his face! He told me to go out for the evening, and that we would talk when I got home. Then he smacked my bum and said NOW!
 I was so excited to find out what he was up to!! While I was out he read your entire blog! The whole thing. I came home to a new marriage that night! He sat me at his feet, held both of my hands and poured his soul out on the table, then he had me do the same. He told me that if I wanted him to be in control 100% that he needed to hear me say it. I told him everything I had been hiding inside of me all these years. By the time I finished I was sobbing. He told me that he wants the kind of marriage you have! He asked me to say out loud that I want him to use me for his pleasure, and I did. He then took me to bed and did just that. He talked to me while we had sex… something that was brand new in our bedroom! He told me that he was sorry for letting our relationship get to the state that it did. He told me that there are hundreds of things he wants to do to me, he said he will not put up with me fighting him anymore. He told me that I belong to him and that I am his to protect, and that he will always protect me. He told me how to move.. he moved me himself, he held me down, pinned me, and he made me do things I have always said no to. I loved every minute of it! I had never felt his power or authority in bed before and the beauty of it made me cry again. He didnt stop 🙂 He kept talking, and telling me how things were going to be from now on. He said everything I needed to hear, and he said it in the way Ive been needing him to say it! By the time we had finished we had been in bed for three hours! The best part was that afterwards, while we were falling asleep he held me so tight in his arms… and cuddled me. I have always pushed him away after a minute of two of cudding, it made me uncomfortable – but last night he didnt let me push him away. I tried and he told me that I am not to push him away anymore. That I am his and he will hold me when I need to be held. For the first time in our marriage I slept safe in his arms all night. I have never felt more loved and accepted than I do right now, and I owe it all to you and your blog. You have shown us the way, and I will be greatful to you for that, for the rest of my life. We changed that night, and we both know things will never be like they were again. My husband wont let it happen, and I couldnt be happier.
 Thank you, Gods gift to Him! You saved my marriage that night. I showed him your blog knowing that he would either take the not so subtle hint and want it, or that he would know I was looking for something he couldnt give me, and might just end things… we really were fighting constantly!  He is a new man today, and I am a new woman. I am so glad I found the nerve to tell him what I need! I love that my husband is so excited sexually by the freedom I have given him to use my body for his pleasure. he has been texting me naughty things from the office all day, and I cant wait for him to get home tonight.
 I want to thank you and your dear husband for sharing this with us! You have made a difference in this world. You saved a family that night. Im eternally greatful to you both.
 God bless you both
– Annonymous

Living a Dominant/submissive lifestyle with children in the house Tuesday, Mar 23 2010 

  I’ve received a couple comments and a few more e-mails about how we live our lifestyle with kids in the house.  You know me by now friends, and so you know I mean no disrespect to anyone when I say I’m not exactly sure what is being questioned.

As far as our sexlife, our kids see as much as anyone’s kids see–ZERO.  They do see a mom and dad who kiss and touch and hug a lot, but that is it.  They may have noticed by now that sometimes when mom and dad need to talk in our room for a minute, the door is locked.  I’d venture to guess that vanilla parents do the same thing.  And just like that vanilla couple, we have to wait until kids are fast asleep or at grandma’s for the weekend for the real fun to begin.

For our D/s dynamic outside of the bedroom, they see a happy mom and dad who are crazy about each other.  They see parents who talk and listen to each other.  They see that we both consult each other’s opinions on things and respect each others’ points of view because we each married a very smart person.

They see a mom who will do just about anything to please their dad and a dad who would rope the moon for their mom.

Do they see that dad is in charge?  I think so and I’m OK with that.  Have they seen him correct me?  I don’t know what they gleen from his subtle ways.  I know I’ve gotten ‘the look’ from him if I’ve displeased him and they’ve seen me quickly change gears, but I can’t be sure how much they read into anything of that nature.  Am I afraid they’ll think I’m weak?  If you knew me in real life, you’d be cracking up right now.  I can be a bit of a ball-buster, I don’t back down from things and I get stuff done.  People know they can count on me and my kids see that.

They know their daddy thinks I’m wonderful and so it’s OK with me if they know that he has the final say in this family.  They also know if mommy said something to them, daddy will back her up one hundred percent of the time.

As they get older they might begin to notice that our dynamic is a little different than what the world projects as the ‘right way’ to be a woman (or man) in a relationship.  I guess at that point I might have to explain that a life with a strong leader is the right way for us and has stopped any fighting and made family life smoother for all of us.  They are entitled to whatever type of relationship makes them happy when they are grown ups too.

  I do understand that those living lifestyles that include Domestic discipline, BDSM, poly relationships and the rest of the gammet have much more to consider when trying to coexist with kids in the home, but for us, it is just a natural way of life and the kids fit right in.  I can’t speak to the way those other families might juggle family life, but I hear that they do it just fine and their kids are just fine too.

The D/s doesn’t just go away Wednesday, Mar 10 2010 

  We have been away for longer than expected.  Away from the blog, but the D/s of a relationship doesn’t just go away.  I don’t think, if you have a D/s marriage simply because that is how you are wired, that it will ever go away.  It can’t.  That is unless the marriage goes away, but we don’t entertain that option.

  I have been particularly submissive pertaining to this blog.  My dear husband thought a break was in order and so I took one.  When I thought it was time to return, he did not agree and so there were no posts.  Things have slowed down and so here I am, all fresh and ready to serve.  I’ve missed you readers, but I didn’t have to pine for you because so many of you have e-mailed to send positive thoughts and well wishes.  You are a lovely lot.  All of you.

  It’s funny, there was a point where I was frustrated about not being allowed to write.  I’m sure you already know what I’m going to say next.  My big strong protector was right, and I’m better for listening to him.  He knows me so well that my obedience is usually good for me.  If that’s not a perfect match, I don’t know what is.

Happy to be back,

God’s gift to him