Submissive at your service… Saturday, Sep 26 2009 

I’ve had a few readers ask me by e-mail if they could ask a few questions and have them answered in a private e-mail.

Sure. 

 I don’t promise to get back to you within 24 hours or anything.  But if you have a question/problem as a Dominant husband or a submissive wife, I’ll do my best to get you a thoughtful answer as soon as  life allows.

God bless you,

God’s gift to Him

PS  If I feel the topic is of interest to many, I may ask your permission to post the Q&A without your name as I have with other questions in the past.

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what are the odds? Sunday, Sep 20 2009 

  I was INFORMALLY counseling a very nice woman who had asked if she could come over for coffee.  She knows that I help married women at my church and often talk of being biblically submissive.  I do not talk of power transfer or D/s relationships at all.  I mostly speak of being a supportive and cooperative helpmate as well as a strong woman and individual.

  This lovely lady began telling me that submission is quite different to her and she is not sure how to act on those feelings concerning her marriage.  She told me she has been looking around the net and actually found a few other Christian marriages that incorporate the way SHE defines this submission.

  My ears really perked up at this point and I asked her which sites she was talking about.   She talked a little about  a few and then SHE QUOTED OUR SITE!   She told me she didn’t want to tell me the names of the sites because I “just wouldn’t understand”.  What are the odds?

  I only smiled and told her as long as she kept her marriage pure, no other people were involved, and both partied are enjoying themselves, she should feel free to explore within her marriage.

God bless you,

God’s gift to Him

Desperately seeking submissive Saturday, Sep 12 2009 

  This blog is about (and for) married couples wishing to move their relationship toward a D/s or power transfer situation.  I have realized that I am leaving out another group.  What about singles who want this too?  How do they look for it?  Where can they find it?

  I’m currently in communication with two men who desire the type of relationship my Husband and I have, but they are single men.  One of the men sought me out and one I offered to help.  I find myself torn about many things. 

  I can give them an insight into the submissive heart (at least thissubmissive heart) but after that, then what?  The one that sought my help is a Godly man.  He wants a pure relationship, but also wants to know she meets his needs before he gets married.   Hmmmm….

   So, we all know that bedroom submission can be a very large part of the power transfer relationship.  He wants to edify God and also wants to commit to a woman who shares his sexual appetite.  Slippery slope, huh?

  Ideas?  I can only think of communication.  Lots and lots of talking.  Maybe even some of this horrid stuff:    ‘If I did A, would you B?  What if I threw in C and D, could you still B?’       And if that wasn’t bad enough, what if he totally speaks to her submissive nature with this and then when the time comes, he’s not really capable of C or D?

  As hard as “coming out” to your spouse is, I am decidedly grateful for my marriage.

Those were the days… Tuesday, Sep 8 2009 

 

 

…or were they?  I think back often about the way we started.  How scared I was to reveal my soul to Him.  I had begun to realize things about myself.  I thought things a smart, educated, strong woman should not think.  I felt things a discerning, opinionated woman should not feel. 

  I remember actually feeling shame when I realized the thrill I got was from loss of control. The high from being dominated.  The charge from being used. 

There was much trepidation when I realized it was more than just play.  If I concede the joy of submission am I letting women everywhere down?  How about myself?

I kept it all to myself for quite a while.  I eventually realized I must share it with Him.  We don’t have the kind of relationship where it is OK to hide ourselves.  That’s what it came down to: hide or expose.  And so one day I laid myself bare before him.

He took a painfully long time to contemplate it all.  He had chosen a strong-willed woman.  Would he find my desire to be submissive an ugly change? 

I admit to reading some blogs that may have not been the best place for a Christian woman to learn about herself.  But here is what drew me; The doms I read found such beauty in the submission.  They found the willingness of a woman to embrace that side of herself winsome.  I hoped and literally prayed that my husband could also embrace the side of me I was learning to accept as well.

So, the point of this post?  It’s hard in the beginning.  You  have to embrace something within yourself that may seem go against how you’ve lived your life this far AND THEN (if you make it past that first scary part) you have to trust a secret part of yourself to your spouse and hope what he sees is beautiful.

Thank you to a reader who wishes to remain unnamed.  She wrote…

    I struggle right now, at this point where he accepts what I have revealed, because acceptance doesn’t seem to be nearly enough for me.  I want him to find my submission precious and beautiful because it is for him alone.  I dream that he will want to encourage and nurture it and see how lovely of a thing it could be for him.  He seems to only tolerate it while making a small effort at dominant behavior every now and then to make me happy.  I know this is new and he IS trying. This stage, and I pray it is only a stage, is very frustrating.  Have you been there?

Is anyone else there now?  It really is a frustrating time.  You don’t want to push him but you do need to be heard.  Only you know the heart of your relationship. 

Small steps are tricky when you think you know exactly what you want.  Be patient.  As happy as I am with His progress toward Dominant leader and our relationship right now, I often wish for more.  I wish he could free himself up from certain ways of thinking and embrace dominance like never before.

We’ll get there.  And when I look back I’ll see that I have enjoyed the trip as well.

 

PS  My dear Husband wrote about the early months of our D/s in this article