I have been getting some wonderful e-mails.  A reader named Jen contacted me because one of my posts made her sad for me.  I thought I might share the letter with you.  

 

Good morning God’s gift to Him,
 
   I would like to tell you about something that happened between my husband and I recently.
 
  I was reading over your posts and I related to your statement in which you said that you were sad when your husband said he would never force you.  My husband said the same thing and while at first I accepted it, the more I thought about it, the more I cried.
 
 I needed to really feel his power, I begged for just one chance.  I implored for permission to say no and be taken anyway.  He did hear me out but had problems with it on several levels.
 
 He didn’t see how it could happen without being a game since I have given him my body along with blanket consent.  The “no(s)” would be phony, the struggle just play acting.  Also, there was his feeling that it is  wrong to treat a woman this way.
 
  Although not my cup of tea, and I don’t like the idea at all, I asked about spanking.  I asked because at least I would feel overpowered.  I live to please him and he said he could not foresee a situation where he truly felt I needed such strong correction.  Again he talked about how this is our lives, not a game, not playacting.  If it’s not part of our true dynamics, he argued, how could it be real?  Then of course there is the part where he can’t imagine ever raising a hand to me or any woman.
 
  I, of course, do not want to make him do anything that goes against his personal morals.  I don’t want to MAKE him do anything.  I, like you, had to accept I would just never get to feel his power in this way.
 
  God’s gift to Him, I want to share what happened soon after, as it may be thought provoking for you and also your Husband.  I would hope you can at least share this with him since you and I have the same desires of our men.
 
  Without another word about it, my dear husband secretly set out to see if he could come up with a situation that could give me what I needed while not forcing him past his moral boundaries.  He said he thought and thought about what would make it real and not playacting also.  What would make it feel like it wasn’t contrived and not make him feel like a violent beast.  He did it!  What he came up with may just seem like rationalization, but he was trying so hard, FOR ME, to make it ok in his mind to give me what a needed.
 
  One day, he started talking a bunch about how much he appreciates the way I follow so well and try to please him.  He asked if he had specific directives for me now and then, would that be OK.  Up until now, we always discussed things and came to conclusions together.  I told him if he thought something was important, of course I would do whatever I could to obey.  He just smiled and kissed me.
 
  Over the next few days he came up with little requests that didn’t really mean much, but I did what I could to please him.
 
  One day, after several days loaded with tons of fun sexy activity, he said “I really think we should give your body a break tonight”.  I just shrugged and said OK.  HE said “I’m telling you that I don’t think you should be penetrated at all today, do you understand?”.  I figured he was thinking I might masturbate if we weren’t going to have sex, so I said, “sure, no action at all today, I promise”  He said” I especially don’t want any semen in you”.  That just seemed weird to me but I told him it wasn’t a problem.  He grabbed my chin and said “you’d do anything to obey me, right?”.  I hadn’t realized this was a serious conversation until now.  With is eyes locked on mine i said “anything”.  He smiled and patted my backside.
 
  We went about our day.  Over dinner he got a very serious look and talked about his faith in me that I would to whatever it took to obey him when something was really important to him.  I asked him if this was about sex and he said it was just about my obedience.  He had never really talked about obedience before.  He reminded me of our talk earlier and that was that.
 
  On the couch later during some kissing, he reached down and pressed his hand between my legs under my clothes.  I playfully told him “no no no, sorry,but I don’t make the rules”.  He stopped and hugged me and said “good girl”.
 
   Later he tried again with the same result.  Only a few minutes passed and he tried again, but didn’t stop with my reminder of his “rule”. I had to push his hands away, but he put them back again.  I grabbed his hands and he pinned my arm back.  At this point I was still smiling wondering why he was being so funny about this.
 
   He began to press fingers into me and I said “No. I don’t want this. I don’t because you told me not to let it happen today”.  He whipped me around and said my ‘No’ means nothing to him.  I pushed against him and was pulled tight to him with one hand while the other searched between my legs.  I used the strength of my legs to press away and ended up breaking free and landing on the floor. 
 
  He stood over me and growled words like he never had before.  “You are mine, I take what I want”.  With that he drug me down the hall into the bedroom and literally ripped my clothes off.  I wasn’t processing what he was doing.  I just knew he wanted me to obey his directive from earlier. I would.
 
   Can you believe this? He was giving me what I thought he never could. I fought, I screamed, I begged him to stop.  I tried reason “I know you don’t want this, don’t do this”.  The struggle was long.  Looking back I think he drew it out for me.  He is so strong, he could have conquered me much sooner.
 
   When he did win the fight, I started to cry.  It was a very peculiar feeling that I had let him down, actually DISOBEYED, by allowing him to have sex with me.  Then I remembered that he had also said no semen should enter me.  I fought, begged, sobbed, scratched again. I would not let him down.  He used his voice and his strength in ways I had only dreamed of.  The words he used, the way he said them, were complete control.  His brute strength used to subdue me brought bliss no orgasm ever could. He won.
 
   He got off of me and laid next to me and held me close.  He said he loved me over and over again and we both went to sleep.
 
 I was on a submissive high for days.  My husband looked so manly to me and I racked my brain for ways to please him.  I know I will never feel his power physically like that again, but the gift he gave me was amazing and so unselfish.  Because of that one night, I feel his power in all the little things he does.
 
   God’s gift to Him, maybe this could help other husbands give to their wives.  My man took it upon himself to make the struggle real and so the power I felt was real also.  Many people  may not understand this need, but for women like us, it is so very real.  It ate at me that my husband would not ever take my body if I resisted.  Blanket consent was not enough for him, but he found a way to make it all right.  Since I was fighting FOR HIM, he allowed the fight and I will be grateful for the rest of my life.
 
Happy Wife,
Jen

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