Does dirty talk have a place in a loving Christian relationship?  Are bad words bad inside of a marriage?  What is OK and what is not?

   I know couples who can’t imagine using a single “naughty” word in their marriage and I know a few pastors that say no words are off limits inside a loving marriage.  Where’s the line?  Wherever your heart feels it is.  If it just doesn’t feel right, don’t say it.

  The world has put horrible conotations on so many words that refer to sex or people enjoying sex that most are considered a curse on the lips of any one, but especially Christians.  What about within a marriage that God has gifted with a very fulfilling sex life?  Is a curse always a curse?

  My Husband explains it this way to me.  The world calls a woman who really likes sex a slut and it is seen (and felt) as a horrible slur.  But what husband doesn’t want a wife that truly enjoys sex?  Isn’t that a blessing from God?  He established that from now on, within our marriage, this word shows how blessed He is that God gave him a wife who is enticing, erotic, sexual and fun.  If in the heat of passion, the word ‘slut’ gets thrown around, it is out of His great pleasure and should feel like a compliment.  I wasn’t so sure.  Just like many sex acts, discussing it at dinner feels very different from engaging in it in a wild romp.  The thought of being called that didn’t really set well with me.

  Here’s the thing, he didn’t CALL me one, he more or less referred to my ‘slutty’ side.  Come one ladies, you know you have a point where you are so turned on that you want anything and everything He can possibly think to do to you.  Well, the next time I was at that point, my head was pulled back and “Hmmmm, such a naughty thing. Who’s my pretty little slut?” was growled in my ear.  Well, I was going wild from the things He was doing to me and I screamed “I am”. (this was followed with “really?…only a slut would want more, should I stop?” ) So, I guess the first time the word was used, I actually called myself a slut.  It’s liberating.  I am all about His pleasure and when He needs a slut, He has one that tries to be up for anything.  Lucky man?  Lucky ME!  His desire is often my pleasure and a true slut allows herself to enjoy every second of it.

  What about “nasty” names for body parts? What about the dreaded F-word?  It’s up to you.  I would die laughing if He told me that tonight he wanted to place his penis in my vagina or copulate tonight.  Is dirty talk about prefectly natural acts in a loving marriage actually dirty?  I say NO.  Our culture has dictated that these are naughty words so that you don’t say them in the wrong company or so that kids/teenagers don’t use them inapropriatly.  If it’s acceptable for us to do them in God’s eyes, then I think we can talk about them too: using any words we like.  I would never use the F-word (I am not spelling it here so that this post does not show up in searches for somthing alltogether different) in every day life.  EVER.  But  a low whisper of it in my ear as I cook dinner and a large hot hand squeezes me—HEAVEN.

Bottom line.  I don’t feel that giving in to passion with your words as well as your body is offensive to God.  If you feel differently, don’t do it.  Some people can drink a glass of wine without sinning and some feel they have betrayed God by indulging in it. If you are convicted about it, don’t do it.  If you feel that God has freed you  in this gloriously sexy marriage he gave you, then let ‘er rip!

God Bless You,

God’s gift to Him

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